do you remember the time when you were a kid, maybe not everyone has this photogenic memory but one thing we all can agree upon is the ability of kids to have this enormous amount of energy as well as the curiosity to indulge in things which we adults never really find interesting at all, like playing all the time without ever getting tired, also the act of fidgeting with every freaking thing that comes their way.
Although we all have left that age decades ago or unless you’re some five year old reading my post, I’ll say to keep this childlike curiosity forever, but one thing i can say that i’ve seen quite often, in people of my age or even older adults that they’ve lost that spark that they used to have at some point, now at 24, I have no friends that have any hobbies or side projects or things which they’re pursuing or indulging in to pass their time or just to feel good or things that makes us live in the moment.
They might have some other ways to do their time pass like hanging out with friends or mindlessly scrolling through tiktoks or other social media content (even i couldn’t stop myself doing that) but they have no such thing as their own that has a sense of them or a element of creativity through which they can express their feelings or vent out or to just release the everyday pressure they feel in their heads.
You know the best part of being a kid or being at that age was we knew nothing so the idea of playing or exploring with things naturally drawn us and now as we are old enough we think we have this body of knowledge of all the worldly things or interests or discipline that we do not even care or think or crave about reviving that curiosity ever again.
Having a thing of your own as per my definition means, something which radiates or emits your truest self, thing which has a sense of purpose beyond any sort of physical entity, a thing which reflects your own artistic sense or creative choices, and something which is like your own child that you nurture and evolve over time, the whole purpose of having it isn’t to get validation or perfecting it, rather it’s about accepting it the way it is even if it’s messy and imperfect, or something which serves as a mechanism to keep you engaged no matter what’s happening around whether good or bad.
In my own case i’ve never been curious till the time i completed my school, it was such a burden for me and honestly i was such an average student throughout, and what led me back to the curiosity state was the reason that i never felt enough of myself, never got any appreciation or the validation from the world, the only thing i wanted to do was to “prove them wrong” mentality, which later led me to learn and try out different hobbies and interests, one other reason that brought me here is i never had a big circle of friends i was this shy, anxious, introverted kind of kid which feared to hold conversations or socialize with people.
Due to all such reasons my influence came either from my parents or the internet at large, for me having something of your own also imply things you do or actively participate due to the fact that you’re doing it out of your own inclination towards that thing or something you just love doing irrespective of it having any benefits or not.
In August, 2017 the time when I just had finished my school, i got to know about the term “blogging” from the internet which i instantly got interested in, i spent few years just doing the blogging thing on a website i created myself in that period, and even after facing so many hurdles which eventually made me quit that thing (for some reason), i never really left the writing itself, only difference made, was earlier i was writing for my readers, which later changed to writing for myself only.
Now for me this writing thing was never something which i started off for earning money, the only thing which inclined me here was purely the love towards the art, and also as a cope up mechanism for venting my feelings on paper as i didn’t had many friends. As english also not being my primary language it took some time or a few years the least to even reach a mark where I was able to write clear sentences, although I’m still nowhere near where i want to see myself with my proficiency in english, i still am trying everyday to express myself better and closer to my original train of thoughts or ideas that are lying in my head.
For the thing part or what constitutes such “thing” it can be anything, for a person who likes to sing and has a decent voice can try out doing cover songs of other artists in the beginning, and later move towards writing their own lyrics, and who knows they can be the next ed Sheeran, or if you’re a person who loves to code and is also good at coding you can start by making clones of popular apps, and then when you’ve gained enough expertise you can work on projects where you feel there exists no solution to a particular problem that you face everyday.
Usually when you’re doing such projects (coding or writing or something similar) you mostly will create for yourself, like journaling your thoughts, or learning dance steps of a new viral song in a closed room where no one’s watching you and which in itself is great, as the purpose of this “having a thing of your own” is being served, but what if, you have a willingness to “build in public” or make your things/projects be shared with the public or the world at large, for such larger than life aspirations you can start at the ground level first, something which you genuinely like yourself thereupon you can move towards learning complementary skills (considering you’ve gained enough expertise at your core thing) at the sides that will help you to push it into the market, and then just deploy/upload/publish whatever you’ve created, with the world.
There will be days where you’ll feel that you have no charm like your ideal singer or coder has, you will feel you are still lacking, or your art isn’t as good enough as those artists, well in that case you still have a art to begin with, and a lot of people don’t even have that much.
And having a thing of your own does not always mean you’ll love working on it everyday, no it’s not always will be the case, there will be days or maybe weeks where you’ll hate it or not feel like doing it, and that’ll also be considered okay.
Usually you will already have an idea of what that thing is that you like or the true desire you have towards something, but it may also be a case where you have no clue about such thing, in such a case, although this topic deserves to have it’s own separate post, I’ll say look for things you’re frustrated about in your own life, and how can you ease the situation, search for a solution turn inward or outward but do it.
Other ways to find it is by being experimental with things, read about different topics and genres or listen to variety of podcasts if you can, or the easiest one look for things you loved as a kid/teenager, it may take some time to adopt or get interested in something at first, but if you do it one by one (trying things one after the another untill you find your thing) you will eventually get there.
And initially you might feel awful or even guilt trip yourself of how mediocre you are or how you’re just wasting your time or but do it anyway, in most cases a block of 30 minutes will not impact your life negatively.
Lastly, think of it as just a “side project”, you need not to be some genius or even good at it to begin with, and don’t attach any expectations, or some larger than life purpose from it, just do it for the fun of it or for its own sake, most importantly do it for “You”, and as you age even these so called inclinations might change to something else, so just stay in the present and do what excites you right now, even if it amounts to nothing in the end.
Sources, inspirations and the process behind1
Footnotes
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This idea is approximately 2.5 year old (16 august, 2022), trust me i really had to lookup for the metadata of the file a few times before i found the actual date, during that period i really had no place to share this, neither i had the confidence to write it to its full length or potential, And even though the idea is kinda old but i had to rewrite it from the ground up, although it still is not perfect per my definition but i had to do it as i hadn’t posted in almost a month. This post is heavily inspired from a essay written by Paul graham, “A project of one’s own” you can read it by clicking the following link: https://paulgraham.com/own.html ↩